What’s Weird Wednesdays February 23, 2011

Up this week: Gays hating Gays. To elaborate, this week’s weirdness is attributed to the homos among us who ugh at the two girls tickle fighting in the corner of a restaurant or bleh at the prospect of owning even a shred of rainbow paraphernalia. Yes, our theme goes out to you gay friends with either an aversion or disinterest in gayness in general, whether it be with the prospect of gay PDA or the implications of gay culture.

Some of you may be thinking, “I don’t understand. What’s not to like?” Half of my two part response is, “I know, right?” The other half must attempt to find rhyme and/or reason to this phenomenon, something to light our way in the midst of this pot-calling-the-kettle blackness.

Pff. I bet you also hate lesbian mermaids.

Let me explain what gays hating gays might hypothetically look like. You’re sitting in the movie theatre with a few friends who happen to all be of the lesbian persuasion. The previews begin. Katherine Heigl romcom, won’t see it (yes youwill). Tim Burton twisted yet thoughtful thriller, definitely. An epic masterpiece of a drama with a twist and enough comedy to keep you laughing but also thinking in which the main love line is drawn between Zooey Deschanel and Michelle Rodriguez (so unlikely, so in love). It’s the movie you swear you wrote in a dream. Just before you are able to squeeze your gushing thoughts of perfection into a single squeal, you’re lesbifreind smugly sighs out, “Oh god. Why do they have to make it gay? Ugh.”


It happens. It is yet to be explained. This theme is centered on the observations of a few dear friends of mine. And when it comes down to it, I don’t think they dislike the gays, they’re just prone to sarcastically making fun of most aspects of life, their own gayness included. And at the end of the day, as they sit on the sofa with their feet in their girlfriends’ laps, I think they realize that gayness is their girlfriend and not their enemy.

What’s Weird Wednesday February 16, 2011

Today’s Weird Wednesday stems from the land of academia. It deals with those who are in or have been exposed to the intellectually knotty realms of academic culture for so long that they have de- and reconstructed language so many times that it barely resembles English. Or maybe it just has to do with straight people using the word “partner” in reference to their significant other.

Kelly McGillis and her partner Tom Cruise in Top Gun

A short while ago, I found myself sitting in a Women’s Studies class listening for any shred of a hint of a whisper of traces of gayness from my professor, with whom I was totally enamored. She was the only person to date who sent my gaydar signals spinning out of control like a compass entering the Bermuda Triangle. Then something happened. She began to make comments about her partner. “I knew it!” I thought, although I still wasn’t positive. Eventually she brought in her incredibly intelligent and charming partner, a male professor. While a semester’s worth of daydream bubbles popped and vanished into thin air all in one moment, and although her partner was a very nice man, I knew the truth. I knew that the ambiguities of “partnership” drove me insane.

To be fair, I can appreciate the non conformist, non label forcing title of using “partner,” it just really throws me off when straight people use it. Besides that, straight, gay or other, the word “partner” at all gives me a cold, formal kind of feeling. The word “partner”, in reference to your sweetheart, is the bologna of relationship terms.

That’s just me. I’m just saying. Do you feel differently? Comment about it!