An Eye For An Eye and Both My Teeth Back, Please

I can remember being eight years old, my tiny feet yearning to fill the space within my roller blade boots.I know my memories are lined with nostalgia. Still I go as far as to say that I am positive that despite the disparity in the size of me vs. the size of my roller blades, my hockey stick and my opponents, I put up a damn good fight in that drive way.

I had just learned how to skate backwards and was making
sure everyone understood that. I think it was me and my dad against our neighbors Mandy Hall (whose knee caps would wobble when it was cold, which was a neighborhood anomaly) and her older sister Steph Hall. Extremely competitive and overly self confident, I skated right up behind Mandy. I was going to sneak my stick between her skates, scoop the hockey ball my way and turn around to shoot into
an open net, winning the game and the approval of all the admiring
spectators (ie-my mom). I approached my target, my eyes focused on the pavement, my mind prematurely celebrating my victory so vividly
I could taste it. Then -WHAP!!!- I immediately opened my eyes and found myself on the ground, my left foot on yellow, right hand on blue, hockey stick I swear still in the air, blood dripping down my chin. Mandy's own version of the game included a rocket shot during which she flung her stick back and down to hit the ball into her own net. This shot knocked my two front teeth clear out of their sockets.

In dreams, teeth serve to symbolize self-image, the way you feel about yourself or the way you feel others perceive you. I think it works just the way you would think: teeth clean and attached to your gums = a positive, confident self-image, teeth nasty or falling out = embarrassment or a lower self esteem for whatever reason. The hockey game is honest to g-d a true story. It just occurred to me, though, how often my teeth have been knocked out by so many different Mandy Halls. And how many times I've set myself up for it by refusing to remove my head from the particles of water molecules above my head. I shift from the teeth in my mouth to the teeth in my head. The teeth that when left unattended will gnaw at various control centers of the brain like Ugolino, resulting in a sub par human performance in the various arenas in which life likes to place you.

You know, like yesterday when an attractive customer walked into my store, the clouds parting/rays of sunshine lighting/angels singing, the whole deal, my proverbial teeth fell directly out of their sockets and down the back of my throat, preventing me from uttering a single coherent (much less witty - I would have even settled for appropriate) statement during the entire interaction. As said customer walked out of the store, still back lit by heavenly rays, I raised my fist and shook it, cursing that Mandy Hall and her hockey stick of beauty. I then promptly returned to my station to look for my teeth which I believe I accidentally spit at her sometime between a muffled Hello and toothless Goodbye.





-Mosephine is greater than the sum of her parts